When I Grow Up…

(image from here)

I realised something this weekend, as I celebrated my best friend getting married, I realised that I am a “grown up”, an adult.

This may not come as much of a revelation to you but it kind of was to me… I’m 33, almost 34 for those of you that didn’t know. I work as a waitress in a restaurant full of early-twenty-somethings, I have a boyfriend who skateboards, my best mate in Oxford is 24, I’m never asleep before 1am, I rent a room in a house, I can’t drive, I have no children… I still felt/thought like someone in their mid-twenties.

Watching Claire & Steve tie the knot & glancing round at old friends there, some married, some not, some with children, some without I realised that at some point, without realising it, I had grown up. I had hit my thirties and actually, I’m doing OK.

I may not be the journalist that I dreamed of being for a glossy magazine, I’m not married, I don’t drive & therefore don’t own a VW beetle and I don’t have my own house but I’m debt free (how many thirty-somethings can say that?!), I’m with a man that I love and I have a great relationship with his daughter, I’m going to college part-time and I’m pursuing my dreams. When I was seventeen I imagined that thirty was when I’d have achieved everything & gotten ‘it’ all. Now that I’m in my early thirties I’m pushing the barrier back… maybe I’ll have my own house by fifty??!

Now that I’ve realised that I have grown up, I’ve decided to do something about it. I’ve decided to embrace it… I don’t want to look like a student any more, I’ve decided to glam it up a bit! I’m going to get my nails done. I’m returning to brunette (my natural hair colour. Ish.) I will ensure I always have breakfast in the cupboard. I will wear high heels upon occasion. Mostly I will stop waiting for things to happen. I will get up off my adult ladylike derriere & go make them happen myself!
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To Fringe or Not to Fringe…

(all images via weheartit)

 …….it’s a question I’ve asked myself a lot over the years & every so often I embark on a mission to grow it out. But I just caved… & cut it back in! Anybody else share in my perennial battle??!

Decisions, decisions….

(pics sourced from weheartit)
Blonde or Brunette?!
What do you think? Whenever summer rolls around I think about going blonde… but maybe I actually suit brunette better?
I have decided I need to implement a bit of a health kick. I have quite high stress levels due to my work & I never really relax properly. I occasionally get irrational with Mr J over the silliest things & last Sunday I sat on the floor at work bawling for about 10 minutes because I felt so frustrated & tired & overwhelmed. So my friend Malini & I have decided to give Yoga a go… I can’t wait, I’ve always wanted to do it but never have. The class we’ve found is only 5 minutes down the road from work & it means that at least once a week I’ll get out on time & hopefully will relax well & get a good nights sleep!
I also suffer from IBS so whenever I am particularly stressed out I end up with a stomach like a beach ball! Certain foods trigger this and so can alcohol.. I already know that if I drink beer I’ll have a poorly tum the next day! I’ve decided to try to eat better… I eat fairly well anyway but I eat pasta a lot which can make me worse, and oddly chicken can trigger it, so more salad, vegetables & smoothies… less bread, meat & pasta… all my favourite things.. **sigh**
I am beginning to feel as if I’m at a crossroads in my life… I kind’ve landed on a career path that I’v wandered along & it’s done me well but I think it’s time to go my own way, I’m just not entirely clear on what exactly that is yet. The place I work at has fantastic values…
  • Getting good quality food to people at affordable prices
  • Using seasonal produce
  • Sourcing locally where possible but not afraid to go global for quality
…but it’s too big for me. We seat 220 people in one sitting & on a Saturday we’ll turn that 5 times. That’s HUGE!! I’d like to scale down for definite… I fell in love with this place on Monday & it’s reminded me thats the sort of place I’d like to be. Smaller, more initimate, more about the food and the people than trying to run a huge place! I’m beginning to put some ideas together in my head but I really need to figure out how to put a business plan together, how to pitch it, how to get funding… small steps! The other part of the jigsaw puzzle is if Mr J & I have a baby… maybe I’ll change my mind all over again! I just very much feel as though this chapter of my life is starting to draw to a close….
I guess we’ll just wait & see 🙂